Wow it really has been a long time since I have written anything on here, hasn't it. Well my beautiful neice turned seven months old over the weekend. She is growning so fast it amazes me. I get updates a few times a week but it is still hard becasue she lives in another state. Thankfully I do get to still see her about every six weeks anyway.. thank goodness for that or I would go crazy. But anyway.. she is now crawling.. "chasing the dogs was the last update".. and moving faster by the day. She has also cut her first tooth too. When I last saw her just a few short weeks ago, she had just started to move forward and now she is moving across the room in a few short seconds.. I have one month before I see her again.. this will actually be the longest time I have gone without seeing her. And I feel like everytime I talk to my sis she is doing something else amazing. But she also starting to remember me too, so this last time wasn't as bad for her because she didn't have to re-learn who I was. I am still dreading the next couple of months though.. you know the big separation period.. where she will start to miss her mama when she is not there.. as one of her "usual" babysitters this period coming up may not be the most heartwarming period... I just hope she keeps remembering me and it won't be so bad as I fear.
Other updates.. Geoff and I have officially been "trying to conceive" (ttc) for over a year now. Sadly the doctors don't consider it that long because of all the diagnosis' I had last year. But things are getting better. Still no baby but we are getting closer. I have lost a total of 30 pounds now and I am feeling great. My last few cycles have been pretty steady with them going 37 days, 36 days, 42 days and 40 days. They are much more closer to "normal" than before. In December I started a new montioring system that monitors my hormone levels (by peeing on a stick when it tells me too) and is supposed to give me a window of ovulation by showing low, high, or peak days. It can only be used with cycles that are up to 42 days long and the first month I used it I had to pee on the stick for almost three weeks (when it told me the first month it could be "up to 10 days as it gets used to my cycle") Plus I almost wasn't able to use it anymore because that was the cycle that went 42 days. It literally started an hour before it was going to be too long to use it.. kinda stressful because it wasn't cheap. So anyway it had me use the sticks for 20 days and never showed that I peaked and ovulated but it had me in the high range for about 13 days (not likely). I was very upset. But then I went to my OB/GYN late January and she asked that I chart my temperature for four cycles before I come in for more testing. Temping is the only way to know if you ovulate or not because your temperature raises right after ovulation because of a hormone your body produces to keep you pregnant if fertilization happens in that cycle. So I have been waking up every morning taking my temperature before doing anything.. sitting up, moving, anything! This is something I avoided before because you only know after the fact if you ovulated or not, it is not a predictor but a confirmation of that particular event... So anyway this last cycle I was charting my temp and using the monitor, plus checking my body's signs. I also started using this site called Fertility Friend to help track all my hard work in one place. I put all the information in and it reads it and gives me a graph for the cycle, while also keeping track of the days of the cycle, when to test among other things. Now this time the monitor had me using the stick for 19 days but I only showed high for one day and never peaked. VERY disappointing. But the fertilty friend site saw a raise in my temp (two days after the monitor stopped testing mind you).. which means.. hurray I did ovulate!!! It then stayed raised for 12 days when my period started. Boo to that!! So now we are an the quest yet again this month. And it seems everytime I turn around someone else is getting pregnant... I bet I can count over 20 people that I know that are.. oh and there have been three added just this week, how about that for ouch! The first one I took pretty well because it is one of my best friends.. the other two were facebook friends that happened to post their news within a day.. one at a time might have been okay but all at once... not so great. Thankfully I have Geoff here as my sounding board. This is the scene..just one day after I get my best friends great news and I was very impressed that it really didn't hurt as much as it has in the past which I can only chalk it up to being that I know that I ovulated last cycle and knowing that it could happen at anytime now.. right.. when I am checking facebook
I say "you have got to be kidding me"
He says: "what"
I say "so and so is pregnant"
He says "another one"
Then not one minute later I keep reading updates and say
"no way"
He says "what"
I say "look at this"
He looks and I say "so and so is pregnant too" and I laugh because what else can I do
He says "seriously is God trying to rub it in"
I just shake my head and walk away from the computer because at this point I have reached my limit of what I can take that day... actually that was yesterday so it is still a little fresh on my heart. But the best part was Geoff asking a few minutes later "so when is our next window"... so now he is more eager than ever to keep trying.. and we are hoping that this time is successful!!
Sadly the monitor is at it again.. on day 9 of this cycle it wanted me to start using the sticks. I was like WTF I ovulated on day 28 last cycle.. that is another 19-20 sticks again this month. I refused to start on day 9 and will start instead on day 15... plus I am giving this thing one more month (hope I can stick to it).. it has not worked well for me at all. My doctor also asked about this type of monitor when I went in to see her yesterday for my health care paperwork I have to do every year at this time. I told her I was already using one... sigh. But on a high note, she was very happy with the weight loss progress I have made this past year. I am kinda at a stand still at this point.. keep gaining and losing the same 5 pounds.. lose it then gain it back... getting a little frustrating.. but I am hoping with the warmer weather I can cross the threshold... so far this week is going good with being more active.. so I am on the right road. So here I am at cycle day (CD) 12... keep your prayers up!!
